I was thinking about...
... pants
🤔 Why is it "still" a pair of pants?
Like we were still in the days when we wore it
per-leg
basis. 😂😐
Ah, fascinating how...
... the term did not advance like the garment did. 👖🩳
Similar to scissors or glasses (eyewear). They are now 💥 as one tool, but are called... as they were separate.
Scissors were literally two (small) blades ⚔️ operated by both hands. Each blade was held on each hand, being positioned like ⚔️ for snipping things. ➡️ Now, same function, but it's advanced — blades are combined with a pin plus the majestic holders for the fingers, conveniently can be operated by one hand — into one amazing tool, this ✂️... But still, "a pair of scissors". I'd call it sniper. Yes, that's right, one "p". It would add the confusion, thank you.
Glasses 👓 ... Similar to scissors and pants.
Leg Tubes
Let's focus on this bit. Because there is a pair of underpants.
Before the Dark Ages, the concept of leg-tube was already common. Think of it as a stitched tube garment made of animal skin or fabric or wool — for each leg. Then they are held by a waistband. It makes sense when we call it a pair of pants... Like a pair of shoes... Because each one could actually be worn independently.
Shoe 👞👟👠👡👢 for instance, right?
We may freely wear different shoe per foot, no obligation to wear similar shoes on both feet or to wear them on both feet... Well, for reasons we need to wear them properly as dictated by trend.
BUT! We don't have, or even need, one combined piece of footwear that covers both feet... That is...
Unless we're playing mermaid. Don't forget the lipstick, mermaid needs lipstick of authenticity. 💄🧜♀️
| Mermaid 🧜♀️ | : |
|
| Me 🐒: | : |
|
| Mermaid 🧜♀️ | : |
|
| Me 🐒: | : |
|
| Me 🐒: | : |
|
| Mermaid 🧜♀️ | : |
|
| Me 🐒: | : |
|
Loincloth
The concept of loincloth, as in the cloth to cover the loin (pubic area), is older than leg-tube (pants). Loincloth is the basis for "underpants". But indeed, Tarzan™ didn't wear Gucci v-thong for immersiveness.
Imagine Tarzan wore that "a bit torn and small holes everywhere" pair of white briefs instead of a loincloth. 🤣 oh... goodness gracious, that would be super, he would be like Homer Simpson...
Did you notice how awkward that "pair of white briefs" in a sentence? 🧐 Maybe not... But somehow... It sounds like two layers of clothing...
Prior to "pair of white briefs", I wrote "white pair of briefs".... It sounds like laundry list went theatrical. Prithee! White pair of briefs. Be more white thou shalt, cleanse I doth thee after... later 😵💫
Now, Underpants
How even can we wear half of it? 🤔 This ➡️ 🩲
🧠 Let the other part dangles — that's how.
Aside from the only logical way to wear it as one half and the hilarity of it, it is one compound garment, not actually separate... But English does this bit:
A pair of underpants
I suppose it simply follows the pants logic. Since the term "a pair of pants" receives no update, the same phrasing ends up applied to others — bras, pliers, compasses, handcuffs, tights, etc.
🇺🇸 has this term pantyhose ⬅️ that is brilliantly logical — a singular noun referring to the single garment.
(Pause for 2 seconds.)
Anyhow, when we actually look at it, this 🩲 is one piece of clothing, unlike shoes.
🧠 Ooh...
Hm... I believe it's somehow modular.
Let's try that in a store setting.
Excuse me, good sir. Hand me over that one underpant, please. I will pay it in half money. I will pay in mor, "r" is half "n".
💡 Money ➡️ m-o-n-e-y (5 letters) ➡️ half is 2.5 letters (from left) ➡️ 3rd letter is "n" ➡️ "n" split into two ➡️ "r" ➡️ m-o-r 🧐
An underpant (½ 🩲) is a literal half-posterior cover perhaps. 🤔
But wait! The half part is ambiguous. Only covering the front or back is also half...
🧠 Well, hence, a pair of them.
A pair of holes?
🧠 Underpants.
But...
🧠 Yes, it is also to cover that region by design.
😑 Interesting pun.
Imagine David Attenborough narated the scene of that one underpant, background symphony starts 🎻 🎼 — this sentence below was composed by ChatGPT:
Observe now, the adult human male — donning a singular undergarment, modestly cupping the loins, whilst leaving twin cloth flaps to dangle like indecisive foliage in a summer breeze.
🤨 Why does that sound good? Indecisive foliage in a summer breeze? Indecisive foliage, such lovely wording. "Dangling cloth among his legs", I would say. Like, "...leaving twin cloth flaps to dangle like dangling cloth among his legs in a summer breeze." Is that good or not? Not. Nod.
In French, which is the national language of France, the term is updated as a singular item, pantalon.
As in,
Puis-je emprunter ton pantalon? Non? Alors... Portefeuille, slip, culotte, et caleçon?🤺
That happened a long time ago. Wait a minute. 🤔 Yes, it did.
Conclusion
No conclusion, it's an amusement. We usually don't conclude anything after riding a rollercoaster.
Or perhaps...
So I guess... English — the mashed-together banquet of a Celtic kitchen commandeered by Romans, overcooked by Angles and Saxons, flambéed by Norsemen, plated in silver by the Normans, and finally garnished with French — simply generalised anything in pair as "a pair of..." without considering whether the pair is actually linked together or separate.
Never mind the "é" in "flambéed" in A-Z alphabet — Lingua Amournesia 🇫🇷... It's a guess. 😂
🇬🇧 💘 🇫🇷
Ooooooh! Britain's got a cru-ush!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G in the A-Z tree! 🤣
(A family gathered at one spot in theme park right before they went home.)
| Mum | : |
|
| Dad | : |
|
| Mum | : |
|
| Dad | : |
|
| Child #1 | : |
|
| Child #2 | : |
|
Pants
Oh, by the way, there's not one mention of "trouser" in the article above.
Pant is a shorten of pantaloon.
First from Italian pantalone ➡️ French pantalon ➡️ English pantaloon — pluralised it as pantaloons.
Pantalone (Italian) is the name of the tight-trousered old Venetian merchant from commedia dell'arte (popular throughout Europe between the 16th and 18th centuries). It was actually a stock character. Pantalone was visually iconic, with those tight red leg coverings, over time people began associating his name with the garment itself.
Ey, pantalone, tu! 🤏 Meaning, something.
Pantaloni! Pantaloni! 🤌 Meaning, the trousers, emphasised. In question form, Indosso i pantaloni? 😶
Then the term spread to French and English.
The Yankees, respectfully, clung to pantaloons longer than needed. Thus, pants.
And still, not an explanation about "trouser".
Trousers
It comes down to the Celts. The original root is the Irish word triús or triubhas, meaning a kind of close-fitting garment for the legs. The Romans noted this, but since they themselves wore tunics and togas, they mocked trousers as barbarian leg coverings. While they wore skirts and robes. Different trend, so... 🤷
In Middle English (after the Norman conquest), we'll find trouse or trews, borrowed from the Gaelic. By the 16th century, the plural stuck: trousers — because they were made of two tubes of cloth, one for each leg. The singular "trouser" is actually back-formed later on. Fascinating, is it not?
Gaelic refers to the Insular Celtic languages of Ireland, Scotland, and Isle of Man.
It includes:
- Irish Gaelic (Gaeilge),
- Scottish Gaelic (Gàidhlig),
- and Manx (Gaelg).
While Gaul refers to the ancient region covering most of what is now France, Belgium, western Switzerland, and parts of northern Italy. Home to the Continental Celts, the kind who got conquered by Julius Caesar. They spoke Gaulish, a Celtic language that's now extinct. Think Asterix and Obelix.
Blame it on Latin roots and 18th-century scholars who loved subtlety and hated clarity.
Julius never mentioned "GAELIC" — GALLIA. Gaelic is from Old Irish Goídelc (from Goídel, the mythic ancestor of the Gaels). The Romans never called Irish or Scottish people "Gaelic" — because they didn't even know they existed properly during Juli's time.
Proper Classical Latin, Maximum Caesar Vibes (MCV = 1105):
- HIBERNIA = Ireland.
- SCOTTI = raiders from Ireland.
- CALEDONII = fierce folk from northern Britannia, the Scotland.
Gaelic is the modern term for Irish/Scottish Celtic languages.
Gallic ➡️ adjective of Gaul. Meaning "of Gaul" or "French".
Garlic = that plant and the bulb it produces. 🧄
Goddammit = I know.
So aye — trousers are literally "the two-leggers", born of Celtic practicality and carried into English speech.
In proper English, "pants" still means underwear.
Britain.
Pants = underpants. It's the clipped version of "underpants".
Bra + pants = knickers set.
Thus, by "...his lacey tactical pantaloons..." (in Handketchup), I literally meant his underpants.
America.
Pants = trousers.
Bra + pants = gym top with jeans, off to Walmart.
Bra
Bra stems from brassiere. From Old French braciere, literally "arm protector" (bras = arm). Over time it slid down the body, so to speak, and by around 1900 it was marketed in English as the garment for supporting the bosom. And no more, stopped at the bosom. Hindquarters were too far.
A-bra-ka-the-bra has nothing to do with the actual bra.
It's
abracadabra.
First recorded by a Roman physician called Serenus Sammonicus, who prescribed the word abracadabra written in a triangle and worn as an amulet to ward off fevers and bad spirits — around 2nd century.
The term has Aramaic or Hebrew flavour, as bonkers Latin wasn't sophisticated enough. "Sine qua non caveat emptor ad infinitum" sounds like a tapped cardboard in a courtroom. It actually means, "the essential thing is that buyers beware forever." It has that Metal. Gear. Solid. Vibe. Just mush and put everything in an oven.
In spite of the fact that it was unrelated, he subconsciously predicted that bra somehow would be common.
If it were Medieval Latin, it would sound, Payus Yourus Taxus.
Bad for film. Glorious for tax collecting after warding off demons.
The spirits are off, now pay up. 2 quid. Fill this form, please. For the state.
T-w-o q-u-i-d.
For the bureaucracy! Quid pro quo. (Tunic flapping.)
Not brarioticracy, sire?
Never!
This "abracadabra" is similar to Coca-Cola. Once remedies, then both ended up on the stage. One as magical incantation for children's shows, the other as the most advertised drink on Earth. Try to wear a Coca-Cola t-shirt and two amulets which said, "abrac" and "adabra". Or the other way around, "arbada" and "carba" with Aloc-Acoc trihs-t.
A pint.
Comments
Post a Comment