Pants

I was thinking about...

... pants

🤔 Why is it "still" a pair of pants?

Like we were still in the days when we wore it

per-leg

basis 😂😐

Ah, fascinating how...

... the term did not advance like the garment did 👖🩳

Similar to scissors or glasses (eyewear). They are now 💥 as one tool, but are called... as they were separate.

Scissors were literally two (small) blades ⚔️ operated by both hands. Each blade was held on each hand, being positioned like ⚔️ for snipping things ➡️ Now, same function, but it's advanced — blades are combined with a pin plus the majestic holders for the fingers, conveniently can be operated by one hand — into one amazing tool, this ✂️... But still, "a pair of scissors". I'd call it sniper. Yes, that's right, one "p". It would add the confusion, thank you.

Glasses 👓 ... Similar to scissors and pants.

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Leg Tubes

Let's focus on this bit. Because there is a pair of underpants.

Before the Dark Ages, the concept of leg-tube was already common. Think of it as a stitched tube garment made of animal skin or fabric or wool — for each leg. Then they are held by a waistband. It makes sense when we call it a pair of pants... Like a pair of shoes... Because each one could actually be worn independently.

Shoe 👞👟👠👡👢 for instance, right?

We may freely wear different shoe per foot, no obligation to wear similar shoes on both feet or to wear them on both feet... Well, for reasons we need to wear them properly as dictated by trend 🤔

BUT! We don't have, or even need, one combined piece of footwear that covers both feet... That is...

Unless we're playing mermaid. Don't forget the lipstick, mermaid needs lipstick of authenticity 💄🧜‍♀️

The concept of loincloth, as in the cloth to cover the loin (pubic area), is older than leg-tube (pants). Loincloth is the basis for "underpants". But indeed, Tarzan™ didn't wear Gucci v-thong for immersiveness.

Imagine Tarzan wore that "a bit torn and small holes everywhere" white pair of briefs instead of a loincloth 🤣 oh... goodness gracious, that would be super, he would be like Homer Simpson...

Did you notice how awkward that "pair of briefs" in a sentence? 🧐 Maybe not... But somehow... It sounds like two layers of clothing...

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Now, Underpants

Let's further 😂 emphasize the awkwardness from the "pair of briefs" bit.

How even can we wear half of it? 🤔 This 🩲

🧠 Let the other part dangles — that's how.

Aside from the only logical way to wear it as one half and the hilarity of it, it is one compound garment, not actually separate... But English does this bit:

A pair of underpants

I suppose it simply follows the pants logic. Since the term "a pair of pants" receives no update, the same phrasing ends up applied to others — bras, pliers, compasses, handcuffs, stockings, etc.

🤨 "bras, pliers, compasses, handcuffs, stockings, etc." ⬅️ Honestly, I did not mean to... But they are like some specific... kinky... 🤣

When we look at it, it 🩲 is actually one piece of clothing, unlike shoes.

🧠 Ooh...

Hm... I believe it's somehow modular.

Let's try that in a store setting.

Excuse me, good sir. Hand me over that one underpant, please. I will pay it in half money. I will pay in mor, "r" is half "n".

💡 Money ➡️ m-o-n-e-y (5 letters) ➡️ half is 2.5 letters (from left) ➡️ 3rd letter is "n" ➡️ "n" split into two ➡️ "r" ➡️ m-o-r 🧐

An underpant (½ 🩲) is a literal half-ass cover perhaps 🤔

But wait! The half part is ambiguous. Only covering the front or back is also half...

🧠 Well, hence, a pair of them.

A pair of holes?

🧠 Underpants.

But...

🧠 Yes, it is also to cover that region by design.

😑 Interesting pun.

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Conclusion

No conclusion, it's an amusement. We usually don't conclude anything after riding a rollercoaster.

Or perhaps...

So I guess... English — the mashed-together banquet of a Celtic kitchen commandeered by Romans, overcooked by Saxons, flambéed by Norsemen, plated in silver by the Normans, and finally garnished with French — simply generalised anything in pair as "a pair of..." without considering whether the pair is actually linked together or separate.

Never mind the "é" in "flambéed" in A-Z alphabet — Lingua Amournesia 🇫🇷... It's a guess 😂

🇬🇧 💘 🇫🇷

Ooooooh! Britain's got a cru-ush!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G in the A-Z tree! 🤣

(A family gathered at one spot in theme park right before they went home)

Mum	:	Husband, though my belly cries, it vexes me not, for lo, I am lost amidst the heavens that grace my face 🎭
Dad	:	😶 What?
Mum	:	Let's not do that again.
Dad	:	Oh... Right.
Child #1	:	(Omnomnom)
Child #2	:	(Louder omnomnom)