🎥 Movies
We found an ancient treasure! We're rich!
❗Reality
How do we even convert this to currency? 😕
Right?
Before we continue, did you notice the fingers, eyes, and reality glitch on certain fellows on the image above? That is some treasure hunting misfortunes ☠️
We know the trope emphasizes on adventures, dramas, and actions. But somewhere deep down, we also had those questions 🤔
Like, how does that go exactly? Question. The rich part.
This is the trope where the adventurers roamed so bravely without obvious funding and sponsor and confidently presumed they'd be instantly rich just by locating the treasure from the information on a brittle goo-smudged paper — is it up or down or sideways? — ancient map.
I was baffled because films always rolled the credits before ever explaining the treasure conversion process, which, let's be honest, probably doesn't exist. The formula: Drama build-up ➡️ Adventure and action ➡️ Found treasure ➡️ Celebration ➡️ Credits roll.
Treasure, in this context, refers to ancient valuables like coins, jewelries, utensils, chalices, paintings, amulets, and more — items from a time long past, not the currency of the era in which the film is set. If it were the standard money of that period, I wouldn't question it.
Let's Dive
Because, why not? 😂
Once those treasure finders located the treasure, now the BIG hassle is to make the treasure as working money.
We don't pay a bag of potato chips with a questionable silver coin. Well, we can, but then it will disregard its actual value. Not to mention the chance that the cashier might call the authorities for that coin or simply refuse to accept it to begin with.
Furthermore, the curse attached to the treasure. That is quite a formidable conundrum, one hell of a pickle.
It's the treasure's supernatural safeguard. Once it's moved from its original spot or opened forcefully without proper key... 👻👿🦹
Specters might chill in places or objects abandoned by the living for ages. That's the baggsie this one or dibs on this spot scenario. So the treasure involuntarily hosts specters.
And by moving the treasure, we accidentally also bring the entire family or gang of ghosts of sort. Hey hey, we live here, sort of speak.
But there's other scenario. Like the actual (treasure) owner deliberately placed spells to it. That's a troll move, but it is actually their property, so... 🤷
No Curse Scenario
Let's assume there's no curse on the treasure.
Here we have ancient artifacts. Who will pay the big bucks for these?
Black market?
Let's put ourselves in their (the merchants) shoes. Now there's a customer trying to sell the goods to us. We examine the goods. What? Porcelain? Wood? Rusty metals? Bronze, silver, gold? Alright, silver and gold. We'll certainly haggle them down until they are left with no choice but to take our offer.
Now let's take off the shoes.
The merchant certainly would sell the precious relics from the past for a staggering price to buyers, complete with "documents", "stories", and whatnots to support the fantastic pricing. But the buying part? As low as it can be! It's just business.
How about pawn shop?
Same deal with the black market's highly sophisticated merchants.
We might think it's like fine wine — gaining value over time, absolutely not from pawn shop owner's perspective 🧐
Museum?
The museum people are the officials. That would be an odd getting rich method by bringing the treasure to them.
Big chance we will get no money for all that trouble. Then of course the endless interrogations 🏃➡️
Because we've just handed them stolen goods. Stolen, because we probably cannot prove our ownership 🤣
Museum isn't a theme park with so much daily cash flow — peak at weekends. We've been to museums, they never give out money for anything.
How about bank? They do have money.
Agreed.
| Guy | : | Hello, I'd like to deposit these ancient gold coins 🙂 How much are these worth? They're from a lost civilization! |
| Teller | : | Sir, do you have proof of ownership? |
| Guy | : | Um... Welp, you see... |
| (Police siren all of a sudden 🚨🚓) | ||
| 👮👮♀️ | : | Sir, we need to ask you a few questions. |
| Guy | : | 🤦 |
Even if somehow we managed to prove the ownership, no bank would be handing us any money. They'd still keep the artifacts, and toodle-oo, please kindly leave 🚜🤺
Cryptocurrency?
Have we ever bought a can of soda with Bitcoin™? I haven't.
Alright, let's do it then.
- Need crypto, so start mining.
- Mining needs powerful GPUs.
- GPUs cost a lot of money.
- Need money to buy GPUs.
- But the treasure isn't converted yet.
- Need to sell the treasure for money first.
- But wait, we wanted cryptocurrency 🤔
- Back to step 1. Infinite loop initiated ⚠️🔄️
NFT?
NFT is Non-Fungible Token. That is even... But let's just try.
We need a cellphone or pocket camera to take photos of the artifacts, internet connection to upload the images and to place the information about the objects, then some other steps afterward. Fingers crossed.
Nobody owns any of those.
Very well, then we shall continue.
How about knocking at some wealthy people houses and offering the treasure?
Brilliant! Let's go to the first castle 🏰
| Guy | : | Good evening, sir 🙂 |
| 🎭 Butler | : |
Good evening, gentlemen 🙂🤵♂️
How might I lend mine hand to thy cause?
|
| Guy | : |
(Processing sentence... 💡)
Might we interest you in this 12th century golden idol? Very rare. Very shiny. Cash only, please 🙂
(Handing the idol)
|
| 🎭 Butler | : |
That is indeed a most intriguing proposition 🙂🤵♂️
(Inspecting the item 🧐🔬)
After careful consideration of its historical significance and aesthetic appeal, I am inclined to accept the entirety of thy offering for the sum of twenty.
|
| Guy | : |
(Processing sentence...)
(Processing sentence... 💡)
Wow! Twenty..... MILLION?
|
| 🎭 Butler | : |
Most certainly 🙂🤵
An abundant allocation of botanical assets 🌿🍃
I bid thee to embark upon the noble toil of horticultural endeavor 🧑🌾
Thou art hereby permitted to transport thy twenty million chlorophyll-laden commodities with the designated eco-conscious agrarian satchels (pointing at storeroom)
|
| Guys | : |
(Processing sentence...)
(Processing sentence...)
(Processing sentence...)
(Processing sentence... 💡)
(Yoink the idol from the butler's hand)
🏃➡️🏃♂️➡️🏃➡️🏃♂️➡️🏃➡️
|
| 🎭 Butler | : | Utmost peculiar gentlemen 🤨🤵 |
Aw... 😔
How about university? 😃
Ah, indeed! We haven't explored it.
Have we seen any permanent booth with Instant Cash sign at the university?
Exactly.
No Logic Is Allowed
Absolutely.
Did you see the chocolate biscuit sticking out from his front pocket? If you did, then you have keen eyes 👍
Chocolate biscuits are good for watching films. They have chocolate flavor and crunchy.
Never mind the ants, it's the style that counts — haute couture avant-gardiste.
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