I was watching a gameplay of METAL GEAR SOLID Δ: SNAKE EATER on YouTube.
I "read" that, handketchup, in the inventory.
I thought, oh, that's probably just a condiment for his ration. What I'm saying is, there's "snake eater" bit in it — ketchup for eating a roasted snake, sewer rat, goat, and goblin perhaps? 🤔 Hm, alright. It would mask the uncharted taste. Tomatoes, garlic, chillies, onions, vinegar, salt, sugar, and whatnots, that sounds alright.
But, handketchup? Is it like hand grenade? One word? Really? So, squirt squirt to the face, like that? What's the point of that silliness? Unless the lad were planning to eat the ketchup-squirted object.
Oi you! You enemy, aye? (Squirts ketchup from the handketchup to the face. The opposite site's face. Not his own face. 🤦 I and my redundancy. Like RAID.)
Oi, you food? (No response.) What are you? (No response.) Here's what you are. (Proceeds to squirt ketchup. To the face.)
Result: plenty. But unlike anything we would usually find in this type of game.
Thus I rewound the video and reread it. OH! Oh! HANDKERCHIEF. Well I never! That made a bit more sense than handketchup. You see, handkerchief and handketchup, they're... a bit similar, aren't they? There's the "ch" after "handke", but not the other letters.
And when we think about it, they're all in his "backpack". What type of backpack is that? Is that Mary Poppins bottomless satchel of doom?
In real life, well, just think about it. We carry many firearms, riffles, WITH hundreds of ammunitions, plus bandages, syringes, food, games, grenades, communication radio, night vision goggles, motion detector, other contraptions — in that bag? Really? And sprinting, climbing, crawling, hand-to-hand combat. Who does that? If he brought a trolley, that would be sensical. A cart would be more suitable. The character probably carries more than 50 kg of clunking gizmos, and still is agile and stealthy. In reality, the bloke would probably out of breath after 100 metres jog, then get crushed by his own backpack. And don't forget the rattling with every step from the sheer amount of metal in his kit.
Aside from its illogicality — which, in itself, is a form of entertainment — the game has a captivating story. That's why I kept on watching it until the end, 1-2 hours a day.
And another thing, Snake (the main character) sounds like a radio broadcaster or a telly quiz host. That is proper. The forests (taiga and such), steppes, and the mountains always welcome good enunciation.
Imagine if he were slurring all the way... Like Rambo? But way more intense?
I don't talk, I do things.
But sir, how would you confirm your understanding of the mission?
I don't. (Drooling.)
Which probably would sound like, "Ay dod".
I smash, ratata, done = Ay smush, brgagagam, boom.
The nature perhaps would reject him.
Oi, this bloke, let's wrap him in deer dungs.
Ay surpraise, I do mishon, y yoo deid eat? Ay smush, brgagagam, boom. 🚀💥 (Crater, a part of a forest five minutes ago. 🤦) (Pulling his glorious cart of weaponries. The wheels squeak between explosions. Every step is a symphony of mayhem and burnt squirrel hair.)
Colonel Volgin
The bloke is a broken living capacitor or even battery, with the sparks and duct-taped skin. Which undoubtedly, consumes steroids like it's tea. And he bloody transforms his clothes! What? From a military uniform to red tights? But... WHY? 🤣 Oh, BY JOVE. I did laugh so much at that moment when he transformed himself.
So, high voltage ➡️ fire ➡️ wardrobe change plus ammunition belt. Did he burn the military uniform? So all this time he wore multi-layered clothings? Or was it his actual skin, as in, naked?
And that Hollywood trope, "villain explaining things to protagonist". Again, why? That's foolish. He could just pull down his trousers and show his whatever-dangling or in pairs to the main character with "nye nye nye" for half an hour. Now that, is a proper irresponsible menace. Oh wait, when he was nude, there was no pair-of-things dangling around, thus he substituted it with history class. 🤦
After he was defeated in close-range combat, Volgin drove a gigantic tank which looked so clumsy and slow — Snake and Tatyana rode a motorcycle. Both could outrun the plonker in a jiffy. Yet, Volgin said, "There is no escape!" Yes, there ARE. Plenty. And the tank screams? What an awkward Klaxon. Maximum terror? Maximum guffaw.
Anyway, Tatyana, she rode a motorcycle, a biker, she claimed. But she showed her bras when she rode the bike. FULL THROTLE from the beginning. Started the motorcycle, yanked the throttle as if it owes her money, VROOOM, like a nervy squirrel. 🐿️🛵
I never did that, ever. Unless I were in a drag race — which I never participated in, to begin with. And I rarely wear bras, since I am a male, apparently.
She wasn't in a race, prior the "There is no escape" chase. She was riding alone, like a caffeinated muppet without an audience. She's supposed to be a KGB agent, but that's... What kind of insanity is that? Ever heard of wind and bricks, dear Tatyana? Nobody, especially a biker, a trained KGB-agent biker, would be so reckless about the wind. But hey, bras. 😶 So, KGB = Kool Girl Bras? What? Oy vey.
And "The Boss" team was called The Cobras. Coordinated bras?
This is like that daft James Bond. He didn't even know the meaning of "secret". "Bond, James Bond." — he might as well go, "High, mushroom, nibble, tiger, cat, faeces, vodka, briefs, moon, uranus", then fainted. He prances around like a centipede wearing a thong. Who in the right mind had sexual intercourses while in a covert operation — when it wasn't even in the mission? For joy? Joy? Didn't he know the terms: stamina, focus, brain, human body metabolism, bloody guilt, and such basic knowledge? But, to Military Intelligence, Section 6, that is proper. 🤣 They don't do covert operations and telling everyone how they do those in any public film. Flip it. Ah.
If Tatyana wore coconuts or seashells by the seashore, I think it wouldn't change anything. Imagine if Snake let his zipper down and showed his lacey tactical pantaloons all the time, I would certainly laugh.
All in all, good flow, good script. Baffling physics and such.
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