I watched Chimera (1991) a few days behind. Because I thought it would be about the abomination beast, Chimera — the ancient Greek mythology creature.
Well, it was James and a female orangutan, named Daffodil, had a baby. The baby was suddenly a fully grown oranguman — fast forwarded, not a gradual progression — as presented in the series.
It is 1991 British telly magic at its finest.
But essentially, it was like that.
Note — "oranguman" is written in lowercase as it is a common noun. Similar to a pebble, a piece of wood, or a garden spade. One simply encounters an oranguman in the alleyway from time to time.
It was supposed to be a science-fiction horror — but by golly, I couldn't stop thinking about other things while watching. They indeed did serious acts, proper. But my thoughts wandered elsewhere from episode 1 to 4. Not to mention the rich dialect in every scene.
I remember hearing these:
- Proplem = problem.
- Sheets = shðĐts.
- Saintist = scientist.
- Dandelion = down the line.
I was watching this dark, gritty 90s sci-fi horror expecting such terror and my brain just ran local accent subtitles:
We've got a massive proplem with the saintist! He's talking complete sheets, and we're going to have to address it further dandelion!
ðĪ
Anyway. Sounds like a local pub discussion over a pint.
Propaply to them, James and Daffodil's immediate descendant = Chimera.
Isn't Chimera a lion-goat-serpent bouquet? ð
In Greek mythology, Chimera is the daughter of Typhon and Echidna.
Speaking of goat in the bouquet, wouldn't the lion and / or the serpent consume it? It's akin to a taped-together Jack + a KFC bucket of crispy chicken wings + Edward behemoth.
No wonder it or he slashed the laboratory workers, carefully dragged every corpse outside, arranged all casualties into a balanced, symmetrical grid before blowing up the facility — possibly even into a perfect Fibonacci sequence, if we got a wider angle — and BLOWING UP the facility. ðĨ
The layers!
Sir English: Chimera is pronounced /kaÉŠËmÉŠÉ.rÉ/.
Why the diphthong "chi" = "kai", Sir English?
Sir English: Because once upon a time, I was persuaded by my French nanny, from afar.
Very far?
Sir English: Actually, very near.
But there's no "kai" in "chimÃĻre"... in actual French pronunciation. Nonexistent, that.
Sir English: Very interesting story. It started with a humble beginning.
Plato: (Barges in. ðĨ) PARDON ME, YOU ABSOLUTE BLATHERSKITE!
Sir English: ð
Sir English: I was in a Latin training camp. The Ecclesiastical Latin Sergeant shouted, "KEE-MAIR-AH! DO YOU HEAR ME, PRIVATE?!" And then, only then, I was persuaded by my French nanny.
Plato: (Looking at the ceiling.) E, eleos! AM I INVISIBLE?! ðĒ
Sir English: ð
Sir English: Long live the Great Vowel Shift rules!
Right. Cheers, Sir English! Cheers, Mister Plato!
Sir English: ð
Plato: (Pinches the bridge of his nose.)
Resuming. So.
The oranguman embodied the Chimera's brute with a primate look. It's amusingly confusing. Very entertaining, when I rethink about it.
The oranguman is that I made a statement and I am a tidy one crossbred result.
Oranguman = human + chimpanzee DNAs.
Indeed, it wasn't orangutan's.
Who put machetes and explosives in a genetics laboratory?
Lead Saintist: Lads, from now on, we put all sort of knives and swords on the wall. The working ones. Ger, stack those rocket heads there.
That's my own dramatisation. The creature used everyday cutlery and the, presumably, short-circuit techniques in his saga. Because it was a genetics laboratory, not a gunpowder and weapons factory.
Right. So.
No one in the series understood the oranguman. But everyone acted like… they did not understand him.
One scene from the series, a female saintist was trying to communicate with the creature using sign language, two-way exchange.
I was thinking to myself — Hm.
Because the creature had a normal hearing! Or possibly even more superior than a human. ðĪ
The oranguman wasn't deaf in the series. No... particular... things that pointed to... his lack of hearing. Oh! The blowing-up-the-facility part without ear protection? Interesting.
Perhaps he was like MacGyver.
MacGyver: I'm not deaf!
Oh do excuse me, Mister Gyver.
I mean, cleverly combining everyday objects into another object with self-narrated memories from... places.
MacGyver: Oh, that. Yes.
Quite, Mister Gyver.
So not... the assumed auditory disorder, but rather, the outstanding expertise. With a dreamy narration, of course.
MacGyver: Ahem. That's required.
Cheers, Mister Gyver.
MacGyver: ð
I think the oranguman got his knowledge (to blow up the facility) from... peeking and overhearing... lab workers... constantly. So you see, the oranguman couldn't be deaf if that were... the case. Right? The oranguman hid, tiptoed, and did other stealthy moves, he could hear. Perfectly. Possibly even wrote prose in his mind in QUEEN'S ENGLISH. He, most likely, did understand English, but he was simply not... being... cooperative, as per usual.
Anyhow, while in MacGyver we were shown from MacGyver's standpoint, in this — well — the other point.
MacGyver: The show is called "MacGyver". Em ay see jee why vee ee arr. What other standpoint would we show to the audience? I'm MacGyver.
Indeed! Cheers, Mister Gyver.
MacGyver: ð
Right.
And preceded by the English language. So the lady first tried to broadcast her intentions to the oranguman using English — possibly she also tried in 0.25 speed — but failed miserably, hence the sign language.
No, no, not that obvious, other-humans-will-understand type of sign language, the one that we need to LEARN.
So the chronology:
-
Tried English ððð
Result:
NO RESPONSE. -
Tried sign language ððŦģðŦīð
Result:
NO RESPONSE.But she thought she made a breakthrough.
-
Tried the combination ððððŦģððŦīð
She then did the
English + sign languagecombo and the permutations:- English + sign language,
- English sign + language,
- English + language sign,
- English language + sign,
- sign + language English,
- sign language + English,
- sign + English language,
- sign English + language,
- language + sign English,
- language sign + English,
- language + English sign,
- and language English + sign.
Result:
THE ORANGUMAN'S OGLE.
The creature didn't have the knowledge of THAT. "THAT" being the English + sign language. It was unlike when he snooped the lab workers. No repetition, no proper points of reference — just suddenly her hands and fingers flailed academically, plus the RP along the way. How would he interpret it, then? The oranguman perhaps thought to himself —
What❓
Let's say he perfectly understood English, his kernel would process that as —
⚠️ Uncaught Error: Attempting to use a disconnected port object.
Her hands (and speech) were trying to send data, but the oranguman's hardware threw a 500 Internal Server Error because the sign language port was never plugged in.
The creature had never attended that specific class. Possibly. ðĪ Hang on, most likely. Because of his brute and cute face. In a classroom full of human students? Even private tutoring would need... a full-body armour and three shields for the tutor. To survive.
So you see, that missing port object. Bloke perhaps just muttered inside —
I understood you the first time, love. I just chose not to respond. This is rather uncomfortable. I'll just be quiet, then.
James-Daffodil child in flanel had a pretty awkward situation.
Can you see the layers here?
After ran away for two episodes, he then was captured by everyone. Indeed, everyone. That was straightforward.
No one could miss —
That furry bloke wearing red flanel?
ðŦĩ (Points at an alleyway.)
Captured. ✨
But once more — ONCE MORE — he wreaked havoc.
Someone opened the cage. ðĨ
Oi, Dave. Did you see the flanel-clad bloke? Again?
Dave: ðŦĩ There, mate. Just down the alleyway.
Apparently, the oranguman emanated bafflement which was WELL received by a female saintist. Yes, the very similar lady who used the sign language and the combo.
Received Bafflement (RB), I might say.
She thought by letting James-Daffodil child go, he would run away and stay from afar, GEOGRAPHICALLY.
He garrisoned in that particular alleyway Dave pointed out.
Propaply he did stroll a bit, au naturel, stationed, and thought —
Hm, I haven't made a statement. Make! Left! RIGHT! Left! Right!
(Dashing back towards the laboratory, tripped *thud*, aggressively excited, finds his red flanel shirt on a hanger.)
O mighty red flanel shirt. We meet again. Be worn by me.
The River
The goal, mate. Organ transplants, was it? Harvesting humanised chimp organs to cure diseases, they said! But what was the actual return on investment schema? Splicing DNA just to grow a liver donor that eventually slew humans, wore flannel, and caused short-circuits? What was the business model there?
Well, aside from the series revenue.
I mean, that was massive lab-procedure incompetence made into a telly series!
ðĪ
Because lab staff couldn't handle basic security, that one lady with her permutations, possibly unshielded copper wiring and exposed MCBs hanging off the wall like a dodgy DIY garden shed extension all around that facility — glad we had Dave.
Sir English: Nonsense! My French nanny and the Ecclesiastical Latin Sergeant explicitly favoured raw, exposed wiring! It allows the Great Vowel Shift to ground properly during high-voltage shifts!
ð ❓
So nobody in it questioned —
Oh, sir. Perhaps splicing human and chimpanzee genes will be… self-defeating? I mean, without any understanding of what you have in mind, of course.
(Plunged into a river full of water.)
There's a river below the laboratory?
ðĪ― (Floating.)
Deliver, the river. It delivered, mate. To the liver.
The Boardroom
The business report.
Investor: Right, so we poured £15 million into the medical organ donor pipeline... where are the harvested livers?
Lead Saintist: Ah. Well, funny story. The liver donor put on a red flannel shirt, learned how to short-circuit the mains electrical grid, executed the research department, arranged them into a Fibonacci sequence, and blew up the entire building.
Investor: So... a net negative yield on the quarterly report, then?
Lead Saintist: Yes, but on the upside, he's currently walking down an alleyway and Dave saw him!
Investor: (Eye twitching, voice dropping an octave.) DAVE?
Lead Saintist: Yes, a local citizen. Very helpful.
Suppose
Suppose, SUPPOSE the boss were sensible.
Episode number 1. ðĨ
(Opening credits.)
(Music.)
(Dramatic camera angle.)
Oh, sir. Perhaps splicing human and chimpanzee genes will be… self-defeating? I mean, without any understanding of what you have in mind, of course.
Boss: Hm. ðĪ Quite so. Right. Cancel all.
(Credits roll.)
(Blank screen.)
(A very slow-tempo violin solo.)
Well, that's no good. We need something to be delivered to the liver from the river by the beavers.
US Telly Version
It's from IMDB. So I guess they put more commercials into it. — Candy, soap, beer, sofa. ðĩ La la la. (Smiling faces.) 4/4. B flat major mostly.
| Michael | : | Hey, Debra. What are you watching? |
| Olivia | : | Hey, Michael. I'm Olivia. A television. |
| Bob | : |
|
| James | : | J'ai la peau douce. |
| Bob | : | ð OÃđ ? |