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Changeling

I was curious about the term changeling and I asked ChatGPT for its versatility in delivering information.

A changeling is a creature from European folklore, a supernatural substitute created by fairies to replace a stolen human child, often appearing as a deformed or uncanny version of the original.
ChatGPT

After some banter of wit, this happened.

Changeling discussion
Changeling holding a stapler
Changeling salary

It's meant to mimic something else, not be its own "thing" entirely. Without a task, a changeling is just... undefined, shapeless. An idle changeling is like a variable without assignment:

The idle changeling is that changeling.

This same tale pops up everywhere, from Asia to Africa. Both postnatal swap (changeling tale) and prenatal swap (subtler, more insidious, and harder to prove). In the old tales, it wasn't always insult. Sometimes it was awe. A changeling could be: sharper than a normal child, strangely wise, speaking words beyond their years, playing instruments or understanding things they'd never been taught.

Fascinating, aye?

Whereas modern labels? Clinical. Sterile. Like "impairment", "deficit", or "abnormal". Strips the mystery, the soul, the poetry right out of it. Reduces it to checklists and therapies.

But people still feel it, deep down. When a child stares into the corner and laughs at nothing. When a toddler speaks of things no one taught them. When a kid suddenly goes mute for a year. A thousand years ago you'd call the village elder.


The Movie "Changeling" (1980)

I thought I was going to watch an actual changeling. Na. I was prepared for the dullness, but that didn't happen.

Instead, it was about "game of thrones" drama in a certain wealthy family — mystery. The actual mystery was how they got the wealth. Pirates? Arr, me hearties. I be John Minnie Russel Huxley, aye — one leg o' timber an' three cursed eyes starin' through the storm!

Where's the changeling bit in that? The child replacement? But that's human substitution. And the child-spectre in the movie was seeking vengeance and justice, maybe justice, well, and vengeance. I don't think changeling is seeking for that concept to begin with. How dare they confused me like that?


Imagine if that term were freely used everywhere, that should be amusing.

(Coach.) BWOOAB! You're up next to substitute Billy!

(Bob.) 👀

(Announcer.) The changeling is Bob, number 81. Replacing number 5, Billy. He's now entering the field!

Spectators clap in awkward rhythm.

(Announcer.) Bob, the number 81 athlete, is wreaking havoc on the field, seeking vengeance and justice, leaving everyone properly baffled — the referee is already halfway up the goalpost.

For immersiveness:

Bob, rockin' number 81, is tearin' up the turf out there! Dude's out for payback and redemption — folks are shook, refs don't know which way is up — one of 'em's already halfway up the uprights like it's a fire drill! 📢 🧑‍🚒🚒 BAAAARRRGHH BEAR!

If the "Changeling" were called "Swapped Human Child for Inheritance", I guess it would be an accurately titled movie which would make people think it's about an overly dramatic estate lawyer and a really confused child with plenty of paperwork and doughnuts. Did you breathe while reading that sentence?

Swapped Human Child for Inheritance
Imagine "Swapped Human Child for Inheritance" were in a conversation.

In US.

Dude : Bro, you watched that Swapped Human Child for Inheritance movie yet?
Bro : (Spits out drink, laughing.)
Dude : What's so funny, bruh?
Bro : The TITLE, dude. It’s like naming a crime thriller Guy Stabs Another Guy in Alley.
Dude : Yeah, but it's deep, man. The human child was… swapped. For inheritance!
Bro : (Falling off the chair.)

In East End.

Bloke : Oi!
Lad : 👀 Aye?
Bloke : Never mind.

A film about an actual changeling would be... what, an angry farmer mumbling to a priest that his son ain't his son, whilst the "child" stares unblinking into the hearth? Hm.

This ain't me boy, Father. He eats moss. Talks in riddles. Keeps rearrangin' the chickens. 😡

Then cut to an hour of eerie violin and candlelight, no resolution, just

ambience. 🎻🕯️

🤔

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