Baboon Onesie Wearing Piranha (Piranha - 1972)

I was watching Piranha (1972).

I thought it would focus on piranhas.

Because the bloody title is "Piranha".

Like chairs getting gnawed, piranhas stealing ATM cards or selling cucumbers at their tiny stands, like that. Or, Terry, as a wildlife phøtøgrapher, she should take phøtøs of the piranhas despite the local guide antics. Would you mind, Mister Caribe? Here here, trousers. (Takes phøtøs. 📸) But, nope.

Most of the film, >90%, was about something else.

Something else!

I was anxiously waiting for any piranha scene or their dialogues about piranha. It never happenned. So, I imagined the piranhas were wearing adorable yet menacing baboon onesies swimming around synchronously, hoping one day this movie would show the scene. Again, nope.

Instead, there's one scene where a guy scratched his armpit — I thought he was reaching for his nipple.

⬆️ By thunder, that's... unexpected. Both the reality and mine.

And in another scene, another guy tucked his pistol in his trousers like it's nothing. He just fired the thing. I mean, the barrel was... chillin'?

What an amusement that was.

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Baboon Onesie Wearing Piranha can mean:

• A piranha that wears a baboon onesie.

  Default

• A baboon onesie that wears a piranha.

  A onesie with a personality, sentient fashion gone rogue

• Or, a baboon that wears a onesie of itself, has fins and such, and acts like a piranha:
  
  Take that, Darwin.