Let's start from this quote:
History is a set of lies agreed upon.
It is agreed upon that it is taken from Napoleon Bonaparte's memoir — strongly tied to his period of exile on St. Helena (1815).
He Spoke English? ๐คจ
No, of course not. It is the English version.
He's French. Actually, a Corsican — the island of Corsica was already under French control before he was born.
His family, the Buonapartes, had Italian origins, specifically from Tuscan nobility. They had migrated to Corsica in the 16th century.
Despite his Italian heritage, Napoleon's life and career were deeply intertwined with France. He received his education in French military schools and rose to prominence within the French military and political system.
In a way, Napoleon's success was a combination of his inherent abilities, his cultural background, and the historical circumstances in which he lived. His "outsider" mentality, driven by his origins, likely added a powerful dimension to his ambition and drive.
Thus, he is well known for his...
out-of-the-box attitude
...unorthodox and relentless.
Is That True He Said That?
๐ค This one is actually awkward. Pinpointing the precise, original French wording of that exact quote is difficult. ๐คท♂️
But! Napoleon might say (with thick Corsican accent)...
Bon sang, tous ceux qui sont aux postes รฉlevรฉs en France sont des pommes de terre bouillies.
English: Dear heavens, everyone on top position in France is a piece of boiled potato.
Other Translations.
๐บ Irish: By the saints an' the shrivelled moon, every bleedin' chieftain in France's court be a lumpy boiled yam with a hat on. (Riverdance.) (๐ช ๐ป ๐ถ "Boiled Yam with a Hat On" Reel in C Major, Lively BPM, 4/4.)
๐️ Scottish: (Meditating.)
๐ช Welsh: Upon the slope of Eryri, the druids have spoken. Spoken they have for the soft-boiled root beasts in velvet trousers. (Harp solo in D Minor. Sheep bleat. ๐)
๐ง♂️ Cornish: Down in the mist o' Bodmin, 'twas foretold, jellyfish in the land of the attires... oui c'est le cas. Laaaa. ๐ข (Bigger harp — The Mermaid of Zennor solo.)
๐♂️ Manx: (Quietly staring.)
๐ Cockney: Cor blimey, gov'nor, them frogs? Bit o' mash wiv a cravat, innit?
And then Emmanuel de Las Cases got inspired ๐ก by Napoleon's muttering while in exile.
Oui!Said Las Cases
Then born that quote...
By someone else.
๐คฃ
๐๐คจ It Was a True or False Question. True or False?
True, it was a true or false question. Je suis un tacticien. ๐
Was Napoleon Short?
Not quite. He was 5 feet 2 inches in French inches — around 5'6" to 5'7" in British imperial unit — ~169 cm in metric unit — which was average height for a man in the early 19th-century Europe. For our information, the average male height in early 19th-century Europe was roughly 165 to 170 cm (that's about 5'5" to 5'7") — varies by region, diet, and social class.
The "short" bit stems from:
- His Imperial Guard (Grenadiers ร pied de la Garde impรฉriale) — They were the crรจme de la crรจme — battle-hardened veterans, hand-picked for size, discipline, and terrifying moustache density. Many of them were tall, hulking blokes, hand-picked for visual intimidation. Standing next to them, anyone would look like a bit of a hobbit. It was indeed a hilariously menacing scene by any standard. He knew how to employ the visual. Which was backfired — being used to mock his appearance.
-
British propaganda — The British press hated Napoleon and turned him into a cartoon villain. Well, the press did not hate him per se, but rather served as a means to propagate the hatred from the political blokes.
"Means" is an unusual noun in English. Why? Because it is English.
- His enemies' insecurity — he wasn't born noble (not from French nobility), wasn't supposed to succeed, and yet outperformed the crowned heads of Europe. So they mocked his "height" (among his bodyguards).
Classic.
Tall Black Bearskin Hat
The iconic outfit of the British royal household guards — particularly the tall black bearskin hat — originated after the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, when the British adopted the distinctive headgear from Napoleon's Imperial Guard.
๐ก Battle of Waterloo: a proper European grudge match. ✅
As in, too much conquest, not enough customer service.
(Wellington — Anglo-Allied — held the line, very British, cool and steady, tea still hot. ๐ต)
(Blรผcher, the Prussian commander, was foaming at the mouth for payback.) DID YOU MISS ME, YOU LITTLE CORSICAN MENACE? ๐คฌ
(Napoleon) ๐ญ๐ Eh ben dis donc! ๐คฆ♂️
The headgears were intended to make soldiers appear taller and more intimidating on the battlefield. The bearskin was a symbol of elite status and martial prestige.
In classic British fashion, they took their defeated enemy's most dramatic costume piece and made it their own ceremonial tradition — turning a Corsican-style showpiece, picked up from French fashion flair, into a regular bit of royal pageantry.
After the Battle of Waterloo (18 June 1815)
Waterloo, Belgium — not Waterloo, Iowa or other state on American soil.
(Outnumbered, outwitted, and eventually overwhelmed.)
20 June 1815 – He returns to Paris, hoping to gain support.
22 June 1815 – He is denounced, politically speaking. None of the decision-makers in France wants more war, more risk, or more Bonaparte. The Chamber of Deputies (La Chambre des dรฉputรฉs — France's legislative body at the time) basically turns their backs.
Late June – He retires to Malmaison, near Paris — not quite hiding, not quite welcome.
3 July 1815 – The Allies enter Paris. Bonaparte is now regarded as a "wanted criminal" by everyone.
15 July 1815 – He surrenders to the British voluntarily.
7 August 1815 – Napoleon is officially told: ๐ You're going to St. Helena.
15 October 1815 – He lands on St. Helena, where the exile begins properly. St. Helena, where he stays until his death, 5 May 1821.
The British didn't execute him like the French did with Louis XVI — no public guillotine, no martyrdom. They didn't hand him over to any angry continentals (Prussia, Russia, Spain, Austria) either. Instead, they gave him the ultimate Gothic exile, You shall live, surrounded by ocean, in splendid boredom. Alone. With memoirs.
Because deep down, the British (and everyone else — with foaming mouth of course) respected him, You're a bloody menace... and an absolute legend. Off you go. Heroically punished.
Napoleon may've lost the war, but he won the wardrobe.
๐ก France, after all, had been dressing Europe for centuries. ✅
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